Combination Plate

November 18, 2007 § 1 Comment

The magical elixir of Advil and Elavil worked wonders last night, and I slept until 9:00 this morning. Does this happen to anyone else? The time changes and all of a sudden you have an extra hour to sleep, but find you need two? I’m almost able to justify it to myself— an extra hour in bed is another hour that the heat is off— but deep down I know I’ve just wasted two of our nine allotted hours of daylight. And I feel suitably ashamed about it, thanks Catholic Church.

We just finished watching Reefer Madness and WOW, what an incredible piece of cinema! And by that, I don’t just mean I was incredulous with regard to the acting prowess and production values (although I was), but I was also incredulous as to the fantastic claims the film sets forth. The take-home message seems to be Marijuana is no gateway drug, but the fifth circle of Hell itself (that’s quite the image makeover, marijuana, you sellout).

But please don’t take my word for it; do yourself a favor and watch it yourself some chill November evening, possibly with a bowl of Doritos and a thick spliff nearby. So many favorite parts: the dancing, the piano-playing, the hit-and-run— and that’s all in the first fifteen minutes!

Don’t you think it’s time for spammers to go legit? The unorganized way they all do business can’t be getting them very far; I mean, with all those spelling errors and typos in their mailings, no one could believe they’re professionals. In business, the best way to make your customers take your seriously is to take yourself seriously. So why not start up a trade journal, fill in a few forms at the registry of joint stock, and go about the whole thing logically?

Maybe at SpamCon 2008 in Atlantic City they could all compare databases after the keynote: “Yeah, we’ve found will believe any promise about dick creams” or “ is a pillar of our company— she couldn’t care less about equitable distribution of Nigeria’s gold export revenue”. You know, to hone their mailing lists, use their resources more effectively, and keep the vi.a.gra out of my inbox.

Or, I suppose, if they really want to collect regular income with no effort, they could get into property management.


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